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another year to begin
another year winding down
and i can't even begin to express
all that i'm feeling right now

some motion got stirred in me,
when i took to the notion to step on back and see
all that i have done, what i could become
easier said than done but i'm tired of excuses,
after excuses, after excuses

'cause if i had a dime for how many times
i let my own bullshit dictate my whole life
i'd be a damn millionaire by now.
but what's that have to do with how you were forced
all those times just to be sure i'd make it through the night?

and it would be the dirtiest lie of all
if i were to tell you all
that person you saw wasn't me at all
no that girl you just witnessed, eyes full of vacancy
she remains to be, she remains to be
yeah she remains to be just another part of me.


from Dancing with beasts, released January 31, 2014



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Allison Apple Tucson, Arizona

dear diary.......

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